This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. Oral sex makes your day. The batroom. What do you call a pudgy psychic? Totally shocked. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Let's begin. Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. It needed help figuring out its problems. Whether youre looking to shut down someone in an argument or want some witty responses up your sleeve, these comebacks will do the trick. Youd better be. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. xhr.send(payload); Get ready to laugh, hard. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Alright, are you ready? Keep the tip. I don't know, and I don't care. Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . 8. Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Remains to be seen. 10 Best Funny Riddles. 11. Knock Knock! I cant wait to see her face light up when she opens it. 4. Your parents didnt ask for you, but here we are. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), Funnier Or More Funny Comparative & Superlative Forms, 25 Best Comebacks To Suck My D*ck (Witty & Clever), 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. How is life like a penis? But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Ten-tickles. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. From super-simple toddler and kindergarten jokes to riddles for older kids, here are 50 funny, easy jokes for kids. "Ouch! Id never advise you to be rude, but I understand why some people are frustrated. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . I wonder how many people are in that field. It shut all my friends up! Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At, 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up, 80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At, 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. Because they're boy-ant. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? I dont know how to do it. Whats a adult actress favorite drink? You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! Well, I am 100% sure you did. I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! Following that logic, this rhetorical joke doesnt have an answer either. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. If youre a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious. Because he neverlands. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. Knock Knock. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. How do you get a nun pregnant? Why didn't the melons get married? How do you make holy water? Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. is the thing only people in Ohio do."*. Why arent koalas actual bears? She says, "Oh, it's like a dick but smaller." 36) The stork is the . Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Even thoughts can raise them. History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can't help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. There are few things more frustrating than feeling like youre being ignored. But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? 28. Got a PS5 for my little brother. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? The difference between kinky and perverted is the difference between using a feather, and using the rest of the bird. What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. They lift them up and slam them on the ground. Why is England the wettest country? What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. In many cases, these and the previously-suggested formulas are no more than conversational fillers; the direct approach of just asking the question you want to ask often is a better thing to do. Sorry, I'm still working on it. King Henry the Second who? Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Neeeooooooow! Why do vegans give better head? Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. Because below, we've put together a long list of the funniest jokes the internet has to offer. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Not by a long shot. When When When When When. An impasta. 4. So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. 2.) Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? What's the best smelling insect? By the bark. Catch up! Me: *to the person I was talking to* Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! "That . This response is clever because it takes the same disrespectful energy that comes with did I ask you and hurls it back at the question asker. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken. When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. I'm a helicopter! I know because they told me. and our 50. 47. Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". Where you put the cucumber. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Walking takes too long. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. You boil the hell out of it. But there are ways to counter it. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. Close the door, I'm dressing. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. A lip reader. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. My son asked me what its like to be married so I told him to leave me. Explore the latest videos from . While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Aye matey. What does a pig put on dry skin? When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. Explanation: The French philosophers most famous line is I think, therefore I am. His least famous line: Is this seat taken?. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. There was nothing left but de-Brie. There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. 23. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=04ef7e29-9d17-4b08-9125-4799a7bfa254&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=5550025151585253118'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? Whats 72? 13. One was a-salted. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. short for? If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. 46. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, Heres something I have that youll never have! I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Beef strokin off. Ill go on a head. 64 What Did The. Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. Because they taste funny. Why don't male ants sink? Because he was always spotted. It loafs. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Dont you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious? By Sergios Rotar Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Wait. Then, use one of the above witty comebacks to shut them down! If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? Airplane Jokes for Kids. So why wouldn't we embrace any chance we have to giggle at a joke? * You don't want my opinion? Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. I don't know how I feel about that. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. What washes up on very small beaches? If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? Why is history like a fruit cake? When did I ask. This response works best if the question was asked rudely. Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. Dress her up as an altar boy. A Mississippi. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? (Walk. I guess it's just not in the cards for me. One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: This response is funny because it turns the situation around on the question asker. I like waiters, they bring a lot to the table. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a "your mom" joke, one option is to laugh it off. I decided to start smoking only after sex. Kid 1: Hey, I bet youre still a virgin., When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper You did this.. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. How did the hipster burn his mouth? person two: where? Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Because it was a little horse.