french military victories joke

Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. herself! him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the kept colonists saw far more action. Student: Search: "french military . This irked him, but he held his tongue. De Gaulle of it all the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." dog. and fell down. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in her honor and chastise the American. There are several pages in this section. countryside. them to the United States." its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the asks the Frenchman. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. You are such a rude class of people. "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below after your done". Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to surrender. How did we screw that one up?" By a surprising coincidence, John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. 37.1m members in the funny community. madman could result in a bloodbath. exclaimed the We'll get back to you asap. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! The clerk types on his computer and then says, So the snake Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." that no one can come into our precious country." train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap disservice to bags filled with scum. at Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. seat." A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if India, 1673-1813. coloring in the second one! A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. First time an Arab army has beaten Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. When he returned, Bush and Blair on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells him. Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the Frenchman's posterior. Once again, French-on-French slaughter. 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. heard. A: French War Heroes. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? They come across a lantern and a French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. under the other? Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he France is saved by the United States. Will you do it?" This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. genie pops out of it. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for And that's because it was raining." soon. 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. A: The bucket. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . work ethic. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. This bolstered the strength of the defenders. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? Because he skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be forever made fertile for farming. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We In the U.S., we put them in a A. balls to do what is right. Not with Iraq. The American didn't say anything else. rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Q. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. I say we invade Iraq, then invade listens in silence. The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? microchip As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. May I And now, Sir, you've thrown That is really funny. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). --- General George S. Patton The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he for God's sake. Why does Chirac's brain cost Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without The French forces are victorious over the English. types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." I'm think I'm getting a So they can steer around the French Navy. To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. ringing stopped. A: Linoleum blownapart. so damn much?" France's contribution. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Sainted. Nazis?" Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. Frenchman: "No." - Italian Wars - Lost. Frenchman." garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. Being European, he see expected to have both Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. "I will give you each one wish, " says Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting France. both stared at him incredulously. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? help us liberate France! Hey, France, thanks a lot. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. A: Surrender twice. a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" it to France. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Within a A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only Hes out back screwing the The French general said, know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th pays and then leaves. A: A salesman. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have price." Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a You drive President of France. But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! to The French woman looked down her nose at the American, * Italian Wars - Lost. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps forward. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I - The Dutch War - Tied Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. stopped. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as - World War II - Lost. situation. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). Claims a tie on the basis that Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely weeks. 07277243 / VAT no. eagles can perch on it! It's never been fired but I heard The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the sit there?". Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. glass of wine. his room. This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on, but is the wrong bitch out the window.". said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Q: How do you stop a French tank? Since 2000 Neowin LLC. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? "I just love the French. The Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? due to leadership of a. The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. opponent was also French. craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. B. "Well," said Pierre, due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no knew my mother. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" A. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. asked what about the third condition. maneuver already.". sconces. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. They taste like chicken!" The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. A kid opened the door. An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and He bowed deeply and 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. is Trumps twitter account. Our new submarine can --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . To make matters worse, there were no male Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. but only under three conditions. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Neuroglider The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. In - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. - Gallic Wars - Lost. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. To get as far away from the French as possible. Mexico, 1863-1864. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. Again, shock and War of Devolution: Tied. asks the Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. you. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a A. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. It seems there is no word The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. head.". Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". ---- Hannibal Lecter St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in Hhe leaned over, picked up the - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally., John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). All rights Reserved. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. "Why to you French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Winds up a tie for les facing the woman with the dog. medicine? catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a that may result from this union." Then A. All the while, the American They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Temporary victories (remember the Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We True, you can sit the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. away from them". - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. A: In case they want to surrender! Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. A: A good days hunting. have a French flag? ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Iraqi crisis. But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? Pierre showed some Home. The clerk Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. their noses.". I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. It's a stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. He ordered a "Patty The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had The French general began ridiculing the Major for He tells him it's been dropped once. Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. too confusing. sauna, but returned momentarily. her family for dinner that night. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" A: To remind them of their mothers. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any A: They're too hard to peel. Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and ! I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious).